The Queens of Kings day

Coming to you live from Puerto Rico! I know I missed a few trips along the way... Ghana, Hawaii, etc. There really was limited e-mail access in Ghana though, and Hawaii had wireless everywhere so it was just like being at home.

This just in...I do not have the biggest butt of any white girl! She was wearing string underwear, spandex, and stilleto heals. Someone should have just said NO. I really wanted to walk up and do the train station impression, "You have the biggest ass of any white girl I have ever seen! I can't believe my eyes!" She probably wouldn't have found it as funny as I did. It was a moment that I was wishing I had a camera phone. Had I pulled out the DSLR with the 300mm lens, I think she would have noticed. You'll all just have to trust me.

Anyway, PUERTO RICO.
The plane flight was one of the worst I have ever had. I was in between the screaming baby and the cookie cutter tourist couple on their way to a resort. Half the plane was full of indian medical school students who didn't get into medical school in the US, and therefore are now going to med school in the USVI because that's still technically US soil. Loopholes, loopholes. So out of several hundred medical school students all sleeping quietly, somehow I ended up next to this really irritating couple who talked the whole damn time. They were worse than the screaming baby. "When I get to the hotel, I'm going to put on my bikini right away and order one of those large rum drinks with the umbrella in it...When we get to the hotel we should find a place for lunch and then walk around exploring (the hotel) and then unpack, and then..." For FOUR HOURS! I had to listen to these people talking about their hotel. It was very clear that they did not plan on leaving their hotel at any point.

My luggage was an hour late, and my cell phone did not have reception IN the airport, so in the process of trying to get a hold of Jose, I had the priviledge of going through airport security twice, which raises my total number of airport security experiences to four today.

Enough whining about airports...I finally got a hold of Jose and he showed up exactly one minute after my bags arrived having come from the other side of the island. We could not have planned better timing. J and C took me around San Juan a little and then apologized profusely that this being christmas they really needed to go to a family thing, so they found me an affordable hotel and sped off to "Three kings day" dinner.

The funny part of this is that in spite of the fact that this is "three kings day" I have never seen so many queens. It just so happens that the only affordable hotel in all of San Juan is a gay hotel. I walked out to the beach and lying in front of me were hundreds of good looking men wearing speedos and hot pants tanning and rubbing oils on each other. SO, I chose a chair right in the middle of the fray and instantly felt like I had entered a TV episode of Noah's Ark. When I woke up two hours later, I had a brief conversation with the produce manager from New York lying next to me about lettuce, and went upstairs to change for dinner. Except that I did not change for dinner, I fell asleep immediately and woke up 8 hours later. I wasn't sure when I woke up where I was or what time it was or what planet I was on, so I headed downstairs where the gay bar was in full swing. There I met two drunk airline stewardesses who invited me to go find food with them. We found a 24hour restaurant and ate and chatted about all things vulgar, and airline crew drama gossip.

Tomorrow I am going to explore San Juan and I have no idea if I will end up going camping or hopping over to BVI, so either way I probably won't have internet for awhile. The embarassing thing is that once I hit San Juan all of my phone problems stopped, and I have a faster wireless connection than anywhere in sillicon valley. SO, in the heart of the high tech world, nothing works, but on remote islands, everything works fine. I have had this experience before. People don't believe me. The world is backwards. Speaking of backwards...it was freezing in California today and 70 degrees in New York. In January. The end is near.
- posted by Sarah @ 11:01 PM