Hi everyone! I've decided to include some short works of fiction in my blog. Did you get that TSA? FICTION. WHAT FOLLOWS IS FICTION. THERE IS NO WAY THIS REALLY HAPPENED...IT IS ALL A BUNCH OF LIES! This was a story made up by someone else, this did not happen to me. Got it?! So here goes:

Once upon a time there was a girl who needed to get from one country to another. She happened to be on a boat in a beautiful bay off of Aehaie (our fictional country). Her new found friends had taken her all over the country the night before and shown her a really good time until around 4 am, so when she woke up in the morning she was really tired and hungover. Unfortunately, the sailboat needed to get to another bay, and everyone on that boat woke up late and was groggy, so there was a mad rush to the dingy and everthing was just shoved into bags so this girl could get to the airport. When she got to the airport, she was planning on having a few hours to repack before the flight, but instead, she was early enough that she was able to go standby on an earlier flight, so she had to rush right out to the gate and get on the plane. The people working security in Aehaie were very skilled and talented and made sure that this girl did not DARE bring on board the 1/3 of a latte that she had just purchased in the airport accross from the security entrance. NO, she MUST dump out this small amount of latte before getting on board. So she did. It was a great flight with good views and the girl landed safely and went through customs and immigration in the country of Usahie without any problems. As the girl was looking for change in her purse for the bus, she realized that in her purse were one decent size knife, a book of matches, and more than 3oz of a highly flammable liquid. We should all thank the security agents of Aehaie for saving the lives of the innocent passengers aboard the flight, and this girl, because had she had those last few sips of latte, she might have been caffeinated enough to accidentally pull out the knife on board thereby creating an international disaster and ending up in jail. This was not a podunk airline with a cardboard sign either, this was Usahie Air!

The moral of the story...if you make people dump out their coffee, they will fall asleep and forget to use the 3 inch blade you let them bring on board.

(This is a purely fictional story, any resemblance to actual events is purely coincidental and has no basis in reality whatsoever)
- posted by Sarah @ 5:55 PM

 
I have been kidnapped by pirates. Fortunately, they have a half a million dollar catamaran and sunny dispositions.
- posted by Sarah @ 7:39 AM

 
Computer dying....can't find outlet...perfect weather here...off to Anegada...won't have phone/e-mail for days. Having a great time. Love to all.

--Sarah
- posted by Sarah @ 8:01 AM

 
Oh the craziness! I have to be brief here, because someone is coming to pick me up to go out in a few minutes. Everything has been non-stop. Partying, camping, hiking, swimming, more partying, hitchiking on sailboats...I have certainly been meeting my quota of 5 new people per day, in fact, I think I've been meeting 20 new people per day. We're on our way out right now to a tapas bar followed by god knows what, and hopefully I will get home before 5am. Where is home? I have no idea, home keeps changing, things are all crazy, but everyone here is awesome. I'm on Tortola. There is no water, only beer, so we are all dirty and drunk. So many islands, so little time. I'll try and blog tomorrow if I don't get kiddnapped by yet another group of people. We might go sailing though, to an island, or diving, or god knows what. Love you all.
- posted by Sarah @ 2:56 PM

 
Ahhh sun sand surf. I was unable to get out of bed in time for breakfast, so I went walking around town. On my way back, I ran into some guys I met on the beach from New York. We had lunch together -- I had steamed Yuca balls with fish inside and salad. It rocked. We then went to the beach where we met up with a Puerto Rican nutritionist who showed us around. We might go out marengue dancing later. Tomorrow I am heading to isla culebra to camp and maybe dive. While we were at the bar -- I skipped over some of that part...there were the most beautiful rainbows. It soon started to pour and we all headed for cover. We were under the shelter and the wind changed and blew the rain right at us, so we all four jumped onto the bar at the same time. This prompted shouts of "Yeah baby take it off" from the other people seated. We remained on the bar until the rain stopped. While on the bar, we took photos of ourselves hanging from the pole holding up the ceiling that went through the bar. I LOVE being a hag. I often forget that the beginning of the trip is hard. For the first 24 hours, feelings of loneliness, disorientation, and shyness kick in. You cannot be shy and be a solo traveller. It doesn't work. Being a solo traveller however is a way to help get over shyness. I have only made seven friends so far in the 48 hours that I have been here. That's actually a lower count than usual. If you want to be really active while travelling, five a day is a good number. Just like eating fruits and vegetables. I hope I don't have internet access tomorrow. I also hope someone doesn't steal my computer.

Get this. Walgreens here sells coffee granola bars!!!!!!!!!! They have actual beans in them. I was looking for a sleeping bag and settled on large beach towels that were 4 for $10. I suppose I could sew them into a sack if I wanted. I hope there are other people camping that are friendly. I couldn't bring my stove on the plane. Must rent scooter and buy charcoal.
- posted by Sarah @ 5:03 PM

 
The Queens of Kings day

Coming to you live from Puerto Rico! I know I missed a few trips along the way... Ghana, Hawaii, etc. There really was limited e-mail access in Ghana though, and Hawaii had wireless everywhere so it was just like being at home.

This just in...I do not have the biggest butt of any white girl! She was wearing string underwear, spandex, and stilleto heals. Someone should have just said NO. I really wanted to walk up and do the train station impression, "You have the biggest ass of any white girl I have ever seen! I can't believe my eyes!" She probably wouldn't have found it as funny as I did. It was a moment that I was wishing I had a camera phone. Had I pulled out the DSLR with the 300mm lens, I think she would have noticed. You'll all just have to trust me.

Anyway, PUERTO RICO.
The plane flight was one of the worst I have ever had. I was in between the screaming baby and the cookie cutter tourist couple on their way to a resort. Half the plane was full of indian medical school students who didn't get into medical school in the US, and therefore are now going to med school in the USVI because that's still technically US soil. Loopholes, loopholes. So out of several hundred medical school students all sleeping quietly, somehow I ended up next to this really irritating couple who talked the whole damn time. They were worse than the screaming baby. "When I get to the hotel, I'm going to put on my bikini right away and order one of those large rum drinks with the umbrella in it...When we get to the hotel we should find a place for lunch and then walk around exploring (the hotel) and then unpack, and then..." For FOUR HOURS! I had to listen to these people talking about their hotel. It was very clear that they did not plan on leaving their hotel at any point.

My luggage was an hour late, and my cell phone did not have reception IN the airport, so in the process of trying to get a hold of Jose, I had the priviledge of going through airport security twice, which raises my total number of airport security experiences to four today.

Enough whining about airports...I finally got a hold of Jose and he showed up exactly one minute after my bags arrived having come from the other side of the island. We could not have planned better timing. J and C took me around San Juan a little and then apologized profusely that this being christmas they really needed to go to a family thing, so they found me an affordable hotel and sped off to "Three kings day" dinner.

The funny part of this is that in spite of the fact that this is "three kings day" I have never seen so many queens. It just so happens that the only affordable hotel in all of San Juan is a gay hotel. I walked out to the beach and lying in front of me were hundreds of good looking men wearing speedos and hot pants tanning and rubbing oils on each other. SO, I chose a chair right in the middle of the fray and instantly felt like I had entered a TV episode of Noah's Ark. When I woke up two hours later, I had a brief conversation with the produce manager from New York lying next to me about lettuce, and went upstairs to change for dinner. Except that I did not change for dinner, I fell asleep immediately and woke up 8 hours later. I wasn't sure when I woke up where I was or what time it was or what planet I was on, so I headed downstairs where the gay bar was in full swing. There I met two drunk airline stewardesses who invited me to go find food with them. We found a 24hour restaurant and ate and chatted about all things vulgar, and airline crew drama gossip.

Tomorrow I am going to explore San Juan and I have no idea if I will end up going camping or hopping over to BVI, so either way I probably won't have internet for awhile. The embarassing thing is that once I hit San Juan all of my phone problems stopped, and I have a faster wireless connection than anywhere in sillicon valley. SO, in the heart of the high tech world, nothing works, but on remote islands, everything works fine. I have had this experience before. People don't believe me. The world is backwards. Speaking of backwards...it was freezing in California today and 70 degrees in New York. In January. The end is near.
- posted by Sarah @ 11:01 PM